GDCG c301

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Chapter 301

On the screen of the small smartwatch.

Within the bizarre home shopping channel that was playing, the host spoke. 

With the face of her colleague, Kim Soleum. 

—This is the home shopping channel, but there is nothing to sell!

At that moment, when the situation was so absurd that it felt impossible to be real— 

Everyone, why do you watch home shopping channels?

Kim Soleum spoke seriously.

In a pleasant, soothing voice.

Because a product you genuinely need happens to appear? Because you believe the phrase 'the best deal ever' is actually true? Because you're convinced that buying the item being sold right now will benefit you?

…….

Well, not me.

Kim Soleum, dressed in a suit, made a slightly embarrassed expression before clearing his throat.

I watched because I was lonely and empty inside. 

That's right. I'm exactly the kind of loser who comes home from work, collapses onto the couch, and shovels ice cream into his mouth because he doesn't even have a girlfriend. Anyway...

Pfft. A small laugh escaped Go Yeongeun before she could stop it.

Having delivered the joke with a straight face, Kim Soleum clasped his hands together and then perched himself on the table where products were normally displayed in home shopping programs.

Home shopping channels are different from dramas.

They talk to you.

And they offer solutions.

'If you buy this, you'll be happy!'

'If you buy this, you're a truly wise person!'

Those are the magical words home shopping channels love to offer. Of course, they don't guarantee results.

We all know that, don't we? We've all bought something from a home shopping channel, used it exactly once, and then shoved it into a corner still inside the box. Some blender or another.

...Is he really allowed to say that on a home shopping channel?

Of course, sometimes what they say is true.

But today, I'd like to tell you a slightly different story.

Kim Soleum gently wrapped up the topic. Then he casually patted the empty space beside him. Toward the person on the other side of the camera.

Toward me.

Come on, have a seat.

Actually... there is something I prepared to present today. 

There it was. 

Home shopping viewers would immediately think—

'That was just bait to sell something.'

Right. The shocking declaration that there was nothing for sale had merely been used to grab attention.

Now he'd probably start claiming his product was completely different from everything else and encourage people to buy it—

But I'm giving it away for free.

"......?!"

I've already bought every single item I'm selling with my own money! 

What kind of insane nonsense was that?

'The host... bought out his own inventory?'

I'm not joking. I really bought everything. The moment the broadcast started, I purchased it all.

Look!

Kim Soleum began pulling boxes out from beneath the table one after another. 

Fifteen in total.

The fairly large boxes were neatly wrapped in opaque packaging that concealed their contents, featuring elegant old-fashioned lettering that read 'Present!' on the outside.

Kim Soleum stacked them onto the table with a series of thumps.

Now then…

I gathered all the items that looked the best and the most desirable from this home shopping channel and packed them into random boxes.

The show host gave me a very suspicious look. He asked how on earth I was going to present and sell all of this.

'Hey, talk-show guy... I know you're talented. But you're seriously planning to sell everything through random boxes? Do you think the customers are idiots?'

Yes. They are idiots.

But they never imagined that idiot would be me...

—What even is this program?

—So this is basically a lottery disguised as home shopping?

—Please send me one please please send me one

—Trappedinhomeshoppingtrappedinhomeshoppingtrapped

—What's inside them?

Only now did Go Yeongeun notice the chat window.

It had been updating too quickly ever since Kim Soleum started making outrageous statements.

You're curious about what's inside, aren't you? 

As if he were about to open one, Kim Soleum placed a hand on a box. Then he stopped himself at the last second.

And grinned. 

Ah! The method for receiving one of these gifts is very simple. Just enjoy watching the show. Because... 

Kim Soleum gradually leaned closer to the camera. 

Go Yeongeun realized she had unconsciously leaned forward as well. 

"...!"

You just have to talk to me. 

Kim Soleum pulled a smartphone from his pocket and switched it on. 

Then he opened the memo app and displayed his phone number for everyone to see. 

Right here is the number! 

"...!"

Throughout this broadcast, I'll be answering incoming calls. 

Whoever gets connected will immediately choose one gift box. And whatever is inside becomes theirs! 

He checked the timer on his phone and suddenly looked alarmed. 

But we're running out of broadcast time. Five minutes have already passed. Fifteen minutes! It's so short and precious.

Let's hurry. Who gets connected next? Let's find out together... 

It could be you!

***

'What is this?'

Go Yeongeun stared at the screen while catching her breath.

Inside the tiny display, Kim Soleum skillfully answered call after call.

Sometimes excitedly. Sometimes completely flustered. 

—Hello! What? You want to put a human inside a box? Are you perhaps a magician?

—Hello, and... ah, you're telling me to stop talking and open Box Number Two right now? W-Well, okay…

—This caller is... a student preparing for exams. You just finished taking your tests? You worked really hard. I'm happy to be giving you a gift…

—Viewer? Viewer...? Um, I think you're actually a tiger. I-Is there anyone who can translate? Leave a comment if you can—wah! Thank you!

—A taxi driver...? Wait a second. You're saying we've met before?

'This is... home shopping?'

No, she wasn't even sure it could still be called home shopping anymore.

'Isn't this just a variety show?'

If she had to classify it... yeah.

A talk show.

Listening to all sorts of people's stories. Laughing with them and crying with them. And giving gifts to those who participated in the interview…

The format was almost stereotypically familiar. 

But clichés became clichés because they worked.

And this show had its own twist.

—Hellooooo? Hellooooohellohellohello... kikikikikikikik—

The people connecting through the phone were not always human. 

Sometimes the eerie creaking of wooden floorboards echoed through the call. Sometimes the screams of dying people could be heard in the background.

The callers spoke in ways that made no sense. Studio lights would flicker or suddenly turn red.

Kim Soleum always made sure to hide the caller ID. Yet every now and then, impossibly long strings of numbers or bizarre phrases flashed across the screen for an instant. 

Whenever that happened, Go Yeongeun's heart turned cold.

Even now.

G o o d C h i l d

C o m e B a c k

N-No... um, an elder from my family happened to call. No, Mascot... I'm doing fine. I'm working hard! 

The host casually conversed with beings that were obviously not human as though they were longtime relatives.

The discomfort created by that contrast.

Humor, horror, and familiarity. All of it blended together into fifteen densely packed minutes overflowing with conflicting emotions.

—This is funfunfunfunfun

—Hurry up, next one

—That ghost scared the hell out of me

—Die

—Please somebody tell me this guy's InHeart account this concept is hilarious as hell

The comments were updating at a speed that could no longer be read. 

And then... 

Now there's only one gift left! Just one!

And the only one remaining is... no way, it's the very first box I picked out and wrapped myself!

Wow, I'm so curious who will end up taking it!

……Wait, one minute? There's only one minute left in the broadcast?

Let's answer a call right now!

One minute before the broadcast ended.

The final call connected.

Hello!

And then—

From beyond the smartphone came a voice. Far too deep and resonant to be coming from such a modern, mass-produced device.

[Oh, what a pleasure. 'Friend of the Talk Show.']

…!!

Kim Soleum jerked backward and pulled his face away from the phone.

The voice played through the speakerphone. Staring at both the caller and the 'In Call' screen as if he couldn't believe either of them, Kim Soleum exclaimed,

E-Everyone, the person calling right now is... Don't be surprised. Good heavens.

—The legendary host of the Late Night Talk Show, Mr. Braun, has called in!

The comment section filled with the wailing of bizarre things.

Naturally, Go Yeongeun swallowed hard as well.

'A famous... Darkness?'

She already knew that within the Darkness, there existed strange hierarchies and systems. Things beyond human comprehension. Things greater than what could be seen. Something beyond. 

The pleasant male voice echoed once more.

Accompanied by faint band music.

[Surprised? Oh, then I have one more little surprise for you...]

...Excuse me? 

[What time do you think it is right now?] 

...Close to midnight. No, wait. Don't tell me... 

[You figured it out?]

[You are currently appearing on the Late Night Talk Show!]

Aaaaaaah!

Kim Soleum completely lost it.

Go Yeongeun didn't know for certain, but the scream was probably loud enough to be heard even at the filming sites of other contestants nearby who were broadcasting simultaneously through the Host Survival program.

W-Wait a second! Um... Is this okay? Can this program really be broadcast on the Late Night Talk Show?

[Hahaha, of course it can. I called personally, after all. If anything, is your broadcast alright? If it's inconvenient, I can hang up immediately.]

Huh? Ah, just a moment... 

Kim Soleum glanced somewhere beyond the camera. Perhaps some high-ranking official was standing there. 

Soon he nodded with a bright smile. 

Yes! They say it's completely fine! 

And then an incredible forty-five seconds passed. 

"......."

When Go Yeongeun came back to her senses, she found herself sitting blankly on the floor near the train's connecting section.

'...Was that a dream?'

But she soon noticed something.

The 'Delusion Home Shopping Live App' had somehow appeared on her smartwatch. Clear as day. 

And if she had known what she had been watching was the Host Survival program, she would have immediately realized one thing.

Kim Soleum had won.

***

"Well then, goodbye everyone! Thank you!"

I waved until the very last moment toward the camera as its lights went dark.

The broadcast had ended with my call with the Host as its grand finale.

Honestly, it had gone pretty well! Maybe a full Late Night Talk Show appearance was still impossible, but perhaps I could at least earn a small segment during a special episode. 

...No, no. I had no intention of returning to the Late Night Talk Show. To that wonderful workplace.

Right.

My goal had been first place in home shopping.

And that... 

Clap. Clap. Clap.

Beyond the now-dark camera.

The host of Delusion Home Shopping was applauding while staring at me with strange eyes.

He spoke through blood-red lips.

[Very clever. Isn't that right? You took advantage of the fact that even if all the products sold out during the finals, the broadcast itself wouldn't end.] 

…….

[The moment the show began, you purchased everything with your own money, sold it out immediately, won the viewers' favor by giving everything away for free… and then spent the remaining time chatting and fooling around! 

As expected of someone who had survived long in the industry. He had figured out that much.

But still.

"Even so, my ratings were the highest, weren't they?"

[…!]

It wasn't meaningless chatting.

I had deliberately used the gift drawing to keep viewers' attention.

I had heightened anticipation through live phone calls.

I had compressed everything into a fast-paced fifteen-minute format containing only the essentials.

And through exaggerated reactions and lively conversations, I had even projected my voice into the broadcasts of other contestants, drawing attention away from them.

Apparently he hadn't analyzed every detail. 

[So what?] 

But he had noticed one thing.

That I had harmed the sales of other contestants. 

[You even planted a negative image of our home shopping channel in the viewers' minds.] 

"Still, first place is first place, isn't it?" 

[First place? Hahaha!] 

The host's face twisted as it floated closer. Warping in midair. 

[Buying your own products is cheating.] 

"...You never explicitly stated that., did you?" 

[Don't give me that nonsense. Why would anyone need to state something so obvious? And...]

The host's mouth opened to reveal a crimson void within. The space around me distorted and the host's tongue lengthened and eyes expanded.

[Cheaters are automatically disqualified.]

"That's a lie." 

[…!]

I smiled.

"Actually, I wasn't the one who bought them. Someone else placed the orders."

[Hahaha. And if that "someone else" just happens to be closely connected to you and purchased them as a favor?]

[That's still cheating.]

"Is it?"

Smiling, I pulled out my smartphone and placed a call. 

To that 'someone else.' The number was still sitting in my recent call history.

"Why don't you verify it yourself?"

The Delusion Home Shopping host stared into me with absurdly large black pupils. Then he accepted the phone with a grotesque grin stretching across his face. 

And the moment the call connected— 

[Oh? What is it?]

[…!!]

The host nearly dropped my phone before catching it again.

[M-Mr. Host... Braun?]

[Indeed. And you are?]

[I'm Red Friday. Hahaha, it's been a while since we've spoken, Mr. Braun...!]

The Delusion Home Shopping host seemed flustered. Yet he composed himself and tried to sound confident. 

[Isn't it currently the Late Night Talk Show's broadcast hour—]

[Oh, the live broadcast just ended.]

[Ah, I see. I wasn't aware. I don't watch many other variety programs.]

The host smiled. Then, wearing a slightly sly expression, spoke casually. 

[Come to think of it, you called earlier as well. I suppose our home shopping variety show airing in the same time slot caught your attention. [Especially since one of your former employees moved over here.]

[Of course. I'm always concerned about my friends. And for you to concern yourself with my mood as well... how thoughtful.] 

The Host added gently—

[Though I imagine your home shopping channel has more urgent matters requiring attention. For example... a rather substantial bill that must be paid.]

[Excuse me?]

The host laughed as if he had figured it out.

[Hahaha... Ah, surely you mean the products that the "Friend of the Talk Show" handed out as gifts? You claimed Mr. Braun purchased everything. Was that a lie after all?]

I felt a hand clutch my head.

[Don't worry. This 'Friend of the Talk Show' will pay for those himself.]

[Oh.]

The Host sighed.

[My, there appears to have been a misunderstanding. That isn't what I meant at all. I was referring to...]

…….

[The broadcasting fee.]

[......What?]

[Your home shopping program was broadcast on Braun's Late Night Talk Show, was it not? Good heavens, do you have any idea how far my talk show reaches?]

[...!!]

[And today happened to be a special episode. Ah, 'Tuesday's Delight, Tuesday's Passion, Remembering the Tuesday Quiz Show'!]

His cultured and cheerful voice flowed smoothly onward.

[From far and wide, to the depths beyond, through every conceivable medium and every possible method, tonight's talk show was broadcast...]

[……]

The host turned toward me.

I smiled.

—The broadcasting fees are expensive there, but things like this work surprisingly well! Maybe because it's such an isolated place?

You definitely said that.

I hadn't forgotten.

[W-Wait a moment...]

[For that tiny studio in such a remote place, the broadcasting fees must already have been difficult to bear. Yet you bravely answered, 'We'll broadcast it.' Oh, I was deeply impressed. Truly.]

[Mr. Host—]

[However...]

[Can you actually pay it immediately?]

[W-Well, that...]

[It seems unlikely. The amount must be astronomical. Dear me...]

[Please wait a moment...! Of course we can prepare it. Of course we can pay! If you'll just give us some time—]

[My, you don't seem to understand that persuasion is meaningless. Broadcasting fees are collected automatically. Now then…]

Every light in the studio went out.

[It is time for seizure.]

 

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